“THE HATE NAPKIN: YULETIDE SPECIAL”
Merry Xmas! For once, special guest Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, gets lit. Who can blame her, as co-host Arik and sound engineer Pauly from Bali croon their favorite holiday tunes—then bang on music “legends” for unoriginal Christmas music. Grab a cup of nog and lotion up! Team THN celebrates the season as only they can.
Season 1, Episode 55: Transformer Toys Rapture and Carla’s Cameltoe Banana Bread
What do you hate more than a co-host that never shows up? We are ready and the verdict is the Golden Corral Buffet is not so bad, but they still don’t carry Schindler’s List ribs.
Tube Tops are making a comeback, at least on the THN airways of time waste. Should we reward bad behavior by naming the Kardashians? Paul shares the remedy for watching reality TV and bad sitcoms. This episode has too much gratitude for a hate basket.
Meanwhile, Arik is being spanked for watching the Transformers, and his 60 transformer toys were victims of the Rapture.
Carla has the cure for childhood Leukemia: drink Lima bean juice. Preventing babies from being born may prevent all of these horrors and hate makes a comeback in this episode. Carla balances it all out with a daily affirmation.
Walmart camel-toe versus old bananas, and Carla’s Cameltoe Banana Bread turns two negatives into a positive. We find there is no cure for Flat Earthers, Anti-vaxxers, and Eric Clapton.
Carla finally gets us to The Hate Napkin. Expert customers who want to pay for a job, but will criticize every step of the way. Whatever happened to do-it-yourselfers? Carla wants to draw chalk lines around one particular customer. Arik knows where he is going, do you? He needs to have a woman in his back seat to tell his male customers to shut it. In the teaching world, teachers are also being rated and it is time to teach your own kids because Pauly quits. Hookers get immediate feedback and escaped Yelp.
Go Fund Me, Go Fund You! How many business days does it take for an ungrateful, greedy con artist to realize they just unfunded themselves? How about a Go Fund Me for a company that has no customer service and a few bucks for chicken feed for the support staff? We will all be better off when the animals take over unless Elon Musk gives us all the Ol’ Roy.
Finally, plastic surgery makes The Hate Napkin. Carla claims to have no implants, it is all-natural Alabama. Arik brings up Katie Couric as an example of why plastic surgery is always wrong. It sounds like Carla is calling for a Go Fund Me, and Paul once again denies he is using mascara and hair dye to look like Jack Sparrow. It doesn’t take Einstein to count the gray hairs that should be on set. Carla’s wrist lift surgery steals the wrapup of the show as it descends into the annals of hate.
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